He's Graduating
My Son's Journey to his Associates Degree
This week, on Thursday, May 14th, 2026 my youngest son, Cole, will walk across the stage to receive his Associates degree in Social Work from our local community college. We are beyond proud of all of his accomplishments. Especially, because the road to get here has been long, with twists and turns, side-steps, pauses, mental health challenges, meltdowns, shutdowns, a pandemic, a quarantine, a loss of friends, and the development of new ones.
He has commented to me more than once that some of his peers he went to high school with, are now getting ready to get their graduate degrees, while he is just finishing his Associate’s degree.
As his mother, I am proud of his tenacity! He will not be the average graduate. He graduates with incredible, real-world, life and career experience. Some of the peers he speaks of, haven’t overcome the hurdles he has jumped over. Most of them have yet to work to help their communities in the ways he has. In a sense, there is no one in this race besides him.
Here in America, we have been socialized to believe that life is indeed a race to the finish line. This capitalistic conditioning begins as early as our babies start development.
Do they meet the standardized developmental markers for sitting up, turning over, walking, and talking? Even their weight and height is measured in percentiles. Are they above or below average? Who made up these averages in the first place and who did they use as their case studies?
When he was in elementary school here in Texas, there were standardized tests that they were pressured to pass with the consequence of not moving on to the next grade if they didn’t. Intellect can be measured in more ways than a high-pressured, timed, test.
Raising two autistic sons taught me that everyone evolves and develops individually, at their own rate, in due time. Eventually, you get to your destination. It doesn’t matter when you arrive. Your route may not look the same as everyone else’s. It doesn’t make your arrival less valid.
I have always tried to keep the focus on my son’s individual gifts, talents, and interests. I kept my expectations for them high, never deciding that they were not capable of whatever they wanted to achieve. I hoped that they would rise to the challenges, one gentle push at a time.
Of course, you can learn to drive! You got your permit? Great. You don’t have to rush to get your license.
It took a while. He decided to take the course more than once, but when the time was right, he scheduled his test with a driving school and passed it. He started drivers ed at age 16. He decided on his own, to get his license at 21.
I had to learn to tune out the noise of the world, and be patient with their development, their grades and even their social skills. I tried to convince them to do the same —focus on your own lane, not the person next to you. I learned in yoga, “stay on your own mat, with your unique body.” In my case, my left side is a little longer than my right.
Autism is not one thing. It’s many different things that show up in their own timing for each individual. There is no one-size fits all. There is no late arrival. When your mind is unique, so is your path. You will arrive to be where you are supposed to be, all in due time.
Like many of us, when Cole started in community college, he had no idea why he was even there. He didn’t have a particular goal in mind. He loved learning and by design in high school, he challenged himself to take the most rigorous classes. His senior year was a struggle due to the anxiety of the major life changes that would follow. Not to mention, he was highly in tuned to the political environment of the time. He lost friends over discussing politics at the lunch table. He was outraged by some of the insensitivity towards marginal populations.
He’s always been passionate about politics. He and his best friend would be in the pool in 3rd grade debating presidential candidates.
“Stop talking about Obama and Bush! Go swim!” I yelled from my pool chair.
He struggled and floundered in the first and second year of community college, although he continued to try to challenge himself. He never took the easy classes, like his mama would have done. His second year culminated in academic probation because of his anxiety.
He decided to take a break from school altogether and begin working his first job in the kitchen of a local restaurant.
I hired a private job coach to help him get through job applications and interviews. There were a lot of “nos” before he finally reached a yes. Then, on his own one day, he decided let the job coach go, with the condition he could call her if anything came up.
His confidence grew. He learned to advocate for himself, even asking for a raise after his first year. He worked exceptionally hard as a dishwasher and prep-cook, pouring in one-hundred fifty percent effort and commitment into it –working late to make sure he finished his assignments, going in early, and being on-call when his co-workers didn’t show up for their shifts.
I was amazed when he had 6 am shifts, and would set his alarm to get up on his own on time every day. Especially because making it to classes each day, and on time, was painful for both of us. The job allowed him to see some small successes, independence, and to save money to purchase his first car.
During the pandemic, quarantine, when the world shut down, so did his job. The isolation and breakdown of more friendships pushed him to his limits. 2020 and 2021 he says were “the most traumatic times of his life.” He ended up advocating for himself with his doctor. He fired a couple of them to for not listening to him, the patient. He felt like he knew himself better than some “doctor he just met.” This experience led to his commitment to his mental health via various therapeutic modalities.
The trauma of it all, also led to his commitment to mental health advocacy.
While he recovered his mental health, he applied on his own, to obtain Social Security Disability in order to provide for himself, to continue to go back to school, and continue his mental health recovery. He decided to take the courses to become a Certified Mental Health Peer Specialist.
In 2022, Cole had an essay published by the Hogg Foundation of Mental Health, Aren’t I a Human.
He was the first prize winner for the New Voices Showcase where he shared his lived experiences. His bravery and vulnerability encouraged me to follow in his writing footsteps with the Hogg Foundation of the University of Texas. We are both now members of their Contributors Circle of mental health writers.
In 2023, Cole started working in the mental health field and was back in school with a purpose of getting a Social Work degree. In December 2024, he received an invitation to the National Honor Society. Since his MHPS certification and internship, he has worked as a Peer Advocate with a local county mental health authority, working with the homeless mentally ill population.
He was elected to be an Executive Board Member of his local C.W.A. union. and has taken several business trips as a union representative. He has testified in favor of budget expansions and laws with our state legislature. He even traveled to Washington D.C. to meet with members of the United States Congress.
As his parents, we supported Cole through this journey. Sometimes, he was not in school at all. Other times, he went part-time, while he worked, and became involved in political advocacy.
I could go on with all that he has been through to make it to finishing his Associates Degree. The hands-on work that he has done alongside his education, we believe has made him into a well-rounded young man with real-world, work, labor union leadership, and political advocacy experience. It makes him well-rounded for the career that lies ahead.
My prayer was for him to turn autism and mental health challenges into motivation to serve others, while also finding purpose. His hard work and determination helped him make it to the finish line in his own race.
This fall, he will continue his Bachelors of Social Work at Texas State University.
Join me in congratulating him on this momentous occasion!!!
If you would like to send him a token of encouragement and support for his graduation, you can send it directly to him at:
If you’re more comfortable sending a gift through me, if you don’t use Venmo or Cash App (I don’t) I assure you that I will make sure he receives it to help him with upcoming expenses, like putting this high-ass gas in his car!
Congratulations to Cole! His journey is amazing and I'm sure the best is yet to come. Great job Mom.
Oh, I know how big of a milestone this is! Congratulations to both of you!