I have thoughts and questions that roll around in my mind until I'm compelled to spit them out somehow in the form of writing. Here we go!
Intro:
This is a fictionalized interview I had in my head with a composite character composed of three people I know. Two male, one female, all who identify as Christians who vote in the manner in which they are prompted by the churches they attend.
Funny thing, I once left a black, Methodist Church for the very reason of them bringing politics into the pulpit. I didn't come to church for that. That wasn't the only reason I left, but I won't go deep on my reasons.
Since I woke up on November 6th in total disbelief that a criminal, rapist, and the biggest liar I've ever heard, was again elected as President of the United States of America, I have wanted to ask these questions.
I have asked a couple of them of someone in my family.
He feels free to share his off the wall thoughts with anyone who will listen. It emboldens me to come right back at him.
*About the fictionalized narrator…
She is also a composite of myself and other people. I don't have the time or energy to make this into a complete story, with descriptions, setting, a story arc, and all of the things.
I'm not supposed to be writing this, much less publishing it. I'm supposed to be working on my memoir and applying for grants. But, while journaling one day this week, these questions persisted on being written. I hope you will give me grace to follow along, or not. I believe in free will.
Narrator:
I am a follower of Christ, but not necessarily a "Christian." I am not part of a formal religion, or particular denomination. I'm not big on "labels" and identifying with a large group of people because a lot of people I've met who walk around talking about their faith as a part of their identity are actually full of shit.
They say one thing for the benefit of their image as a part of identity as a Christian. Yet, the way they live can be diametrically opposed to Christ's example.
I'm more of a spiritual person. I believe in treating others with loving kindness, acceptance and co-existing with other loving humans, no matter their religion.
My beliefs are heavily influenced by my life experience and religious trauma from childhood.
I was a "good girl" who listened to my mother and went through the motions of going to church three times a week. But I hated it!
I found hypocrisy and judgement in formal religion.
There are too many unexplained things that seem to be left up to the determination and explanation of imperfect men, who appear to have their own patriarchal agenda as a part of their ideology.
Not to mention, all of the straight out awful things that have been done in the name of religious beliefs. Like for instance …slavery in America.
I try to understand where people come from. Like what is their story? What was their childhood like? Why do they think the way they do?
Everybody has a story, right?
The Questions
I would like to ask the Christian who claims to believe in the bible and votes according to their "faith” the following:
You're a Christian, so of course, you believe in God, right? As in God who created heaven and earth and everything in it.
So what makes you think it's cool or like, your job, to destroy the parts of God's creation that you don't like, because I don't know, let's say, their skin is brown, or they speak another language, or maybe they're from another country?
Do you believe that God is omnipresent, as in he's everywhere? He sees and hears everything, like in those meetings congress has behind closed doors. You do realize the truth always comes out, right?
Do you think God knows the truth no matter how your candidate spins it or gaslights people into believing that the sky is green, and the grass is purple?
Do you ever do any fact checking? Do you even believe in facts, or do you just believe whatever they tell you to believe in church, because that would make you good –worthy of God's love?
Do y’all understand critical thinking?
Is that the reason y’all don’t want the masses to go to college because too many people would think critically and question the validity of the bullshit that comes out of the mouth of your leaders because they say it with some level of authority or what you believe is charisma?
So God…he lives inside your heart and mind, right?
Do you think he knows when you’re serving his best interests or if you're serving your own? God is all knowing, right? So he knows when you’re full of shit.
Now this is going to sound strange but, I have to ask. Do you believe in heaven and hell? They talk about it in your instruction book –the bible.
I’m not gonna lie. I'm not sure if I totally believe in hell. But who knows, right? Just in case it's real, I'm trying to behave like Jesus. You know what I'm sayin'?
Jesus was a cool dude. Why wouldn't we all want to be like him?
He accepted everybody. He rolled through in a way that made sinners want to hang with him! He didn't try to make them feel bad, or less than. He was like, I am so full of love! How can you resist me?
And honestly, most of us can't resist him. I mean who doesn't love Jesus?
I have people in my family that talk about the love of Jesus all.the.time. They don't act like anything like him. I mean, how are you gonna cuss out your mama in one minute, and talk about being a "real Christian" the next minute? But they swear they love him! I swear I try not to judge, but sometimes…it ain't easy.
No. I don't think I'm morally superior. I don't think anybody's superior. We're all God's children. Some children listen to their parents, some don't.
Can't control that, right?
Do you think Jesus will understand and forgive the behavior choices –like the greed and harm of the most vulnerable?
Are you hoping maybe God will see it from an eye of forgiveness?
I mean, were all sinners, right? It would be interesting to know how God judges sin. Some sins worse than others, right? From what I remember, God forgives sin, but only if you repent. If you just keep doing the same shit over and over, should he forgive you?
Jesus, he was the epitome of forgiveness. I mean, even when they were trying to kill my brother, he was on the cross talkin' bout, "Forgive them father for they know not what they do."
Now that is forgiveness, ain't it?! That's some next level shit!
He's better than me, cause forgiveness doesn't come easy for me. I be tryin' tho.
Wait a minute!
Is that what you're hoping for? That he'll forgive you when you take from the poor so the rich will be richer? When you separate families and torture people without any due process, like they did the first time America had slaves?
Who knows, maybe he will forgive. I wouldn't, but you never know. God is a higher power. We can't know all there is to know about God.
I mean, there's always hope, right?!
Wasn't it Jesus who said, "Keep hope alive!?"
No?!
That was Jesse Jackson?! Oh snap! My bad.
See! It's always the brothers and the sistas who come up with the most incredible ways to look at the world and lead with love. Jesse Jackson, John Lewis, Martin, Gandhi, Obama, Kamala, Jasmine, Auntie Maxine, Beyonce'!
Ha, ha! I'm kidding about Beyonce'!
But have you seen Blue Ivy on IG? That girl is a whole ministry! She lights up my sad heart! I can be crying one minute watching immigrants be tackled by big fat, ugly men wearing masks.
I mean, they must be wearing masks because they're ugly, right? Or maybe they just have ugly hearts. Who knows?
Wait a minute!
Hold the phone!
I just realized something! Some of the most effective, most loved, peaceful leaders have brown skin!?
Is that why y'all are mad?!
Ooooh! That explains everything!
You know what? No matter how many questions I ask, I can't make it make sense.
I think we're done here.
Reels:
Lately, I also get the urge to make the occasional video on Instagram to entertain myself. I am probably the biggest viewer of my own videos, and I laugh at myself every time.
These will take you to IG:
These days I need all the laughter I can get. I don't have much of an I.G. audience, but I do have things to say. So here you go: Here's a couple I made in the past couple of weeks.
Writer Residency Fund:
I am fundraising for a writing residency this fall at Rosemary’s House in Greece! I am so excited to get away from the madness to focus on solidifying my manuscript without the constant disruption and pull of energy from the collective trauma we are all experiencing as Americans, as well as my daily caregiving and family obligations.
Art is resistance!
Love, Karen
You can also donate here: Mama Writing Residency Fund
If you have already donated any amount:
THANK YOU! I APPRECIATE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN EXPRESS!
Girl, you hit the nail right on the head. Nor to mention, it made me laugh out loud. Keep it coming!
Nailed it. If I believed in the devil, he would look and act exactly like Steven Miller and Donald Trump.