Two Weeks in L.A.
Perfect until it wasn't
As I grow into myself, I am discovering more each day, two things can be true at once, and probably, more than two.
While feeling more joy than I have in months in L.A., I missed my bed and the nine, fluffy, pillows of various shapes and sizes, that my husband thinks are ridiculous.
I missed my husband while being so f*@king happy to have a break from him.
When I got home, my bed felt like a long, warm, hug. My extra hot coffee just the way I make it, just strong enough, with a dash of vanilla sweetness, is comfort and joy in a cup.
The ocean and the cool breeze in Manhattan Beach runs a close second to my morning cup of coffee. I spent every second I could walking up and down the hilly streets, walking on the pier, listening to the crash of the waves, and watching the surfers do their thing, despite the fact that the sun was playing peek-a-boo in the clouds and it wasn’t exactly “warm outside.”
I can’t leave out my favorite restaurant "The Strandhouse.” They have the most delicious food, delectable cocktails, and a perfect view of the ocean from almost every seat. Don’t forget to order the fresh hot donuts for desert! The real reason I go there!
Writers Gonna Write
For the first time, I discovered the Manhattan Beach Public Library.
It is a three-story glass building, with a view of the ocean from the top floor!
I can’t think of a better place to write away from home.
I took the scenic route back to my brother's home in L.A. from Manhattan Beach, slow driving down Highland Avenue, to Marine, to Ocean Drive, through to El Segundo, so I could catch the sun dancing on water at sunset.
I pulled into the lot and negotiated with the attendant.
$8. dollars!? Dude! I’m just going to be here for a few minutes.
He let me in for $3.
As cars filled the parking lot near sunset, I was flooded with a memory: hanging out with my friend Anthony and the seagulls after smoking a joint on a warm summer day. This was in my carefree early twenties.
Anthony, tall, dark and handsome, (I can’t believe I wasn’t into him like that) He was my friend before he became my boyfriend Mike’s roommate. We both worked our first jobs in downtown L.A. Me, at the Los Angeles Hilton, as Mail and Key clerk. (These were the days where they had real, gigantic, gold keys).
Ant (we affectionately called him) and his brother Hosea, worked at Carls Junior in the Broadway Building just down the street.
That summer day at the beach in El Segundo, we were feeding the seagulls, Cheetos. Anthony honestly believed he had magically trained the seagulls to fly in formation just for him. We laughed so hard that day. What a fond memory. I miss my guy friends. Hardly any drama, just a lot of laughter.
I miss hard laughter.
Instinctively, like a lion silently stalking through the jungle, I made my way through the Playa Del Rey, noticing how my mind still remembers the curves of the road, where to turn, and where the good parking spots are.
I located the another nostalgic memory of a picnic at Lagoon Park with my high school friends a couple of years after we graduated. Hanging out drinking wine coolers (before we were legal) with "Da Fellas" I dubbed them, and still refer to them to this day. They called me (k-dub). Most of them still stay in touch, forty-plus years later. There were only a few girls in our group (less drama).
Spending time surrounded by love, memories, friends and family was food for my soul and a pleasant break from the loneliness that’s a constant in Texas.
Equally, I enjoyed the stolen moments alone, meandering, thinking, contemplating, perspective taking, and writing.
Writers need quiet time alone like we need oxygen.
Perfect Until it Wasn’t
My time in Los Angeles was perfect until I started seeing and hearing stories about my brown brothers and sisters being terrorized at school graduations, workplaces and court-ordered DHS check-ins where they received the old bate and switch. What a betrayal. It’s unfathomable to believe this is where we are in this country.
Nobody in L.A. asked for this, not their mayor (Karen Bass) or their governor (Gavin Newsom).
L.A. is one of the most diverse cities in the U.S. and we like it that way!
I’m not going to go deep here. I will just say, none of us deserve the sheer terror we are being subjected to. None of us!
I hope and pray that we stand in our humanity together with our neighbors until we make it to the other side of this nightmare to a better place.
Good News!
Did you hear the news?! I was accepted to a writing residency at Rosemary's House in Greece this summer!
At a time when many are attempting to erase the history and contributions of black and brown people and our history, the voices and stories of black women writers are more important than ever.
My memoir is at the cross section of race, disability, identity, motherhood, burnout, and mental health.
I am exploring funding sources, scholarships, grants and supporters who would like to help me get there and pay the residency fee. So far, I raised the deposit to hold my spot. I’m still searching for more funding.
It’s an opportunity of a lifetime to work alongside writers like Maggie Smith and Megan Stielstra to help solidify my project for publication.
You can support quickly and easily “Buy me a Coffee”
Every dollar means the world to this mama writer.
I also have a mama writer residency gofund.me
Thank you for being here, reading my work and for your support.
I'm so glad you were able to enjoy LA for a while, and that you're going to Greece! I hope all is good, or at least as good as possible. You focus on the writing, and the rest will sort itself out. 🧡
I love this and am so proud of you. My daughter, Michele, lives in Chicago and is an avid reader. I forwarded this to her, asked her to support you and to send your link to her many professional friends. I hope you get some support through them. Good luck!